Blessings In Disguise?

"Blessings"
By: Laura Story

"We pray for blessings. We pray for peace.
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep.
We pray for healing, for prosperity.
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering.
All the while, You hear each spoken need.
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things."

"'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?"

"We pray for wisdom. Your voice to hear.
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near.
We doubt Your goodness. We doubt Your love.
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough.
All the while, You hear each desperate plea.
And long that we'd have faith to believe."

"'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?"

"When friends betray us; when darkness seems to win.
We know that pain reminds this heart that this is not, this is not our home.
It's not our home!"

"'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if my greatest disappointments, or the aching of this life, is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy?
And what if trials of this life; the rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are Your mercies in disguise."

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This past week has been a emotional trying time for me.  My week was hectic and in an upheaval; things crashing down all around me.  I couldn't understand why things were happening.  I have always been the type that has bottled things up and been silent, not bothering to speak, until it all just bursts out.  Many times, I bottle anger and then it's not pretty when I unleash.  I've been working on this, but after this past week I've been harboring yet again.  This time, bitterness.  Why would God allow this to happen?  It just wasn't fair and I didn't like it.  I don't think I've ever cried so much in years, but God always uses scripture to whisper his love and promises to us. :)

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."
- 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

 Yes, being one of the oldest in this situation I've been in is hard because the younger ones are looking to me for a response to this.  They need to see my strength and how to deal with this properly.  I have really wanted to do what's right, but believe me, it's hard when you want to scream at those responsible, slap them, and call down fire and brimstone to rain down upon them...

The encouragement from godly peers, close friends, and from my Heavenly Father have helped me through this week.  It was tough and I broke down in tears numerous times.  I still do.  But it's the hardships that knock those rough edges off.  Lord, thank you for not giving up on me. :)